I wanna go back…

“I wanna go back and do it all over, But I can’t go back, I know.  I wanna go back,  ‘Cause I’m feeling so much older, But I can’t go back, I know.”  I Wanna Go Back by Eddie Money, 1986

DO YOU EVER JUST WANT TO GO BACK???

I wish I could go back to happier times with my mom.  Before the eye doctor used a tainted needle on her and damaged her “good” eye beyond repair.  Back to before the macular degeneration stole her eyesight.  Back to before the orthopedic doctor accidentally severed the ligament in her knee, causing her to never walk again. 

I spent the last 6 years helping in any way I could.  Making calls, hiring caregivers, going home every weekend to clean, run errands, and run the logistics of my parents’ household…all while working full-time as an educator, and being a wife and mother.

I want to go back to 1993.  The day after Thanksgiving; Black Friday.  My mom and I had a tradition of going to the K-mart on St. Andrews Road- right when they opened at 6:00 AM.  It was my senior year of high school and Mom was “all in her feelings,” as my students would say.  We rolled up to the “Mart of K” as I called it, in my new raspberry red Dodge Shadow.  The back seat let down to make more room in the trunk!  I was excited to fill it up!

I vividly remember getting a great parking spot.  We headed straight to the jewelry counter.  K-Mart had AMAZING sales on jewelry during the holidays.  We then went to check out the clothes.  It was very cold that year, and I needed a new coat.  I chose a pretty Jaclyn Smith coat in a London blue hue.  (I still have that coat, by the way.  They just don’t make things like they used to.)

We finished the trip by buying a ceramic acorn dish with a squirrel on top that served as a handle.  It was called “The Nut House” and it had a bag of mixed nuts inside of the acorn holder.  We planned to give it to my Dad for Christmas.  We headed to the Dodge after a marathon two hour shopping trips.  Loaded down with gifts for ourselves and others, we made a biscuit run to the nearby McDonald’s.

Sadly, there will be no more K-Mart runs on Black Friday.  There is no more K-Mart, no more Dodge, and no more Mom.  Sure, I have traditions to make with my own daughter.  BUT, to just go back, one time, to that K-Mart on Black Friday in 1993, I would laugh with my Mom just one more time, show her the cute make-up set I found just one more time, have fun with her just one…more…time.

To all you daughters missing your moms at Christmas, I see you.  And for old time’s sake, I want you to let out the biggest laugh that you can.  Because that’s what our moms would want…for us to laugh, be happy, and remember all the good times spent together.  THAT, my friends,  is the greatest gift we can give ourselves this Christmas season!